Some losses are clear. You know what happened, you know it’s final, and although it’s painful, you can start to grieve and eventually find a way forward.

But then there are the losses that don’t work like that. The ones with no neat ending, no tidy closure. The ones that keep you hanging in the “in-between.” That’s what’s called ambiguous loss — and if you’ve ever felt stuck in a kind of grief limbo, you know exactly how heavy it can be.

So… what does that actually mean?

Ambiguous loss can look like:

• Someone you love disappearing from your life, but not from the world — maybe through estrangement, separation, or going missing.
• A person who’s still here physically, but not quite the same mentally or emotionally — perhaps because of dementia, brain injury, addiction, or mental illness.

It’s the ache of holding on and letting go… at the same time.

Why it’s so hard?

This kind of loss doesn’t have a clear “ending,” so you might find yourself:

• Always wondering what could happen next.
• Feeling a messy mix of emotions — grief, hope, anger, guilt — all swirling together.
• Struggling to explain your pain to others who don’t “get” it.

And sometimes, you might even question yourself — “Shouldn’t I be over this by now?” (Spoiler: no, because it’s still ongoing.)

Ways to care for yourself in the uncertainty:

1. Call it what it is
Just putting the words “ambiguous loss” to your experience can feel like lifting a weight.

2. Make peace with not knowing
This doesn’t mean you like it — just that you stop spending all your energy fighting it.

3. Stay anchored in what’s here now
Find small moments that give you comfort or meaning today, even if tomorrow is unclear.

4. Find your people
Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or a therapist — share your story with those who can hold space for it.

5. Let hope and sadness sit together
They can coexist without cancelling each other out. You don’t have to pick one.

You’re not alone in this

Ambiguous loss is messy, but that doesn’t mean you’re broken. You’re navigating something incredibly complex, and you’re doing the best you can.

It’s not about “moving on.” It’s about learning to live with the unanswered questions while still letting joy and meaning slip in where they can.